Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
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she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
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I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize