There was a lot of him and a little penis
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
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