Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
