Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
