I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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