So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
