my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
