i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
