I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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