this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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