i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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