So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
