yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
