Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
