I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
