Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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