Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
