brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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