Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
