so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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