Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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