8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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