I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize