Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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