So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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