Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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