This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
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He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
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I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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