my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
