I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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