Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
