but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
