it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
