I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize