I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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