Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
