im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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