I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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