my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
