The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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