Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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