it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
