I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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