Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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