If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
