i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
