dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The power of my boobs compel you
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
