There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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