Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off

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(310): its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off http://tfl.nu/w0tm

Replies (2) Good night (708) Bad night (1002)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm starting a business if you want to get involved

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

oh boy

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings

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(781): I'm starting a business if you want to get involved (1-781): oh boy (781): Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings http://tfl.nu/e1eb

Replies (21) Good night (3147) Bad night (618)
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(813): View more from Florida

just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat

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(813): just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat http://tfl.nu/dslu

Replies (36) Good night (737) Bad night (4817)
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(972): View more from Texas

you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.

(214): View more from Texas

round 2?

(972): View more from Texas

EVER.

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(972): you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again. (214): round 2? (972): EVER. http://tfl.nu/6p06

Replies (10) Good night (1239) Bad night (3700)
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(353): View more from

Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.

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(353): Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila. http://tfl.nu/uacf

Replies (10) Good night (4299) Bad night (926)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?

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(306): Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender? http://tfl.nu/l1y7

Replies (12) Good night (4358) Bad night (1121)
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(302): View more from Delaware

when are you leaving homes?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51

(302): View more from Delaware

I had a sex dream about Oprah.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

go back to sleep

(302): View more from Delaware

dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.

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(302): when are you leaving homes? (610): it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51 (302): I had a sex dream about Oprah. (610): go back to sleep (302): dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah. http://tfl.nu/idf1

Replies (16) Good night (1540) Bad night (5490)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?

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(704): Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year? http://tfl.nu/w9x5

Replies (6) Good night (3926) Bad night (1131)
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(315): View more from New York

mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.

(315): View more from New York

hahahaha slap the bag.

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(315): mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table. (315): hahahaha slap the bag. http://tfl.nu/tktw

Replies (2) Good night (1566) Bad night (789)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home

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(403): If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home http://tfl.nu/j953

Replies (10) Good night (2125) Bad night (513)
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(914): View more from New York

It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you

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(914): It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you http://tfl.nu/ff5c

Replies (8) Good night (1563) Bad night (429)
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(702): View more from Nevada

My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.

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(702): My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that. http://tfl.nu/98gg

Replies (4) Good night (695) Bad night (375)
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(813): View more from Florida

It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.

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(813): It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis. http://tfl.nu/yjsc

Replies (7) Good night (513) Bad night (831)
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(315): View more from New York

He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick

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(315): He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick http://tfl.nu/ogpi

Replies (5) Good night (382) Bad night (567)
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(319): View more from Iowa

You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.

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(319): You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls. http://tfl.nu/3o35

Replies (2) Good night (289) Bad night (267)

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