I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing