you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
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In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
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I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died