Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.

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(425): View more from Washington

Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.

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(716): View more from New York

Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.

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(806): View more from Texas

and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...

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(914): View more from New York

Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.

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(607): View more from New York

Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.

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