The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize