my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
