That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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