did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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