i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
