Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
