Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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