maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
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She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
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Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.