You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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