Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize