What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
